My coming out story.

I thought you might be interested in the how/why/when of my "coming out".

What happened was that one night, for no reason at all, I turned on the tv.There was a documentary on about certain tribes in Africa where,if the kids are born with a hair-lip (which I was), the kids are killed to spare them from the hardship of a life of teasing and ridicule. Mostly because the surgery is to correct it is way too expensive for the parents. (the sad part being that it was only 240.00 U.S.) This got me quite upset (I actually phoned my mom in tears). I couldn't get over the emotional aspect of it. It got me thinking "how can someone suffer so much based simply on how they were born?". I got to thinking about myself and doing some deep soul-searching. I realized that I had treated myself as badly as others had treated me for being born with a hairlip. Only I was mis-treating myself due to my sexuality. I had abused myself with alcohol,drugs,etc. because I was to busy hiding from,denying, and feeling ashamed of it. I think the bulk of it was based on the teasing I took for the hairlip. How would "they" react when finding out I was gay as well? Right then and there I decided that it was time to face facts and come out of the closet. My best friend,Jessica, was working downstairs at the bar and I figured if there was one friend here I could tell, it would be her. So I decided to swallow my fear and go downstairs for "the talk". I told myself that if it was busy I would wait until the next night. If it was slow, I would sit ehr down and talk. I go downstairs and there was NOBODY in the bar, I had no choice! (later she said the look on my face was priceless - happy and disappointed at the same time). So I told her and she was happy/honored that I chose her as my "guinea pig". Then she told me I HAD to tell my mom. She offered to go with for support but I declined. ("I can't take you with me evrytime I'm telling someone" I told her). She made me promise to phone her after it was over to let her know how it went. My mom's response was "I knew a long time ago" then there was hugs, laughter, and tears. A good time had by all!
The next person that had to be told was my other best friend, Breanne. Jessica brought her around the next day saying "alex needs our support" and then wouldn't tell her anything. "You have to hear it from Alex" she would say. This friend's response was "but you're all about the boobs". She was confused but very,very supportive. All but one person has been supportive. But he won't be bothering me anymore. Not after I got the best of him in a fight at the bar the other night when he crossed the line. He accused me of stealing his cigarettes and money. His accusation went like this; " you're a stupid fag, I know you took my stuff because you're gay" That's right, I must be guilty simply because I'm gay. He then proceeded to challenge me to a fight. I tried to talk my way out of it to no avail. I also tried to simply leave the bar but he followed me and harrassed me some more. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion but I can and will take only so much. He didn't think that the 'conversation' would end up with him on the losing end and me on top of him with my hand around his throat. And where,exactly,was his stuff? Right beside him on the bar. I take a lot of joy (I know, bad Alex!) in knowing that this macho,homophobic guy has to walk around knowing that he lost a fight to "a stupid fag".

Ok, that's one serious blog for the year.
Back to being a smart-ass tomorrow!