some funnies from Diane

This one is something to think about.., time really does fly
1975: Long hair
2006 : Longing for hair

1975: KEG
2006: EKG

1975 : Acid rock
2006: Acid reflux

1975 : Moving to California because it's cool
2006 : Moving to Arizona because it's warm

1975 : Tryin to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2006: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1975 : Seeds and stems
2006: Roughage

1975 : Hoping for a BMW
2006: Hoping for a BM

1975 : Going to a new, hip joint
2006: Receiving a new hip joint

1975 : Rolling Stones
2006: Kidney Stones

1975 : Being called into the principal's office
2006 : Calling the principal's office

1975: Screw the system
2006: Upgrade the system

1975 : Disco
2006: Costco

1975 : Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2006: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1975: Passing the drivers' test
2006: Passing the vision test

1975 : Whatever
2006: Depends

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things.. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's incoming freshmen. Here's this year's list:
The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1987.
They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up. Their lifetime has always included AIDS. Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic. The CD was introduced the year they were born. They have always had an answering! machine. They have always had cable. They cannot fathom not having a remote control. Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show. Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave. They never took a swim and thought about Jaws. They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are. They don't know who Mork was or where he was from. They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane, Boss, de plane". They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is. McDonald 's never came in Styrofoam containers. They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

THE GOOD HUSBAND
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after the night at a business function. He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.
And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping - Love you!"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Jack asks, "Son, what happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh, THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, b**ch, I'm married!”
Broken table - $200
Hot breakfast - $5
Red Rose bud - $3
Two aspirins - $0.25
Saying the right thing, at the right time... Priceless