You want an orange?

I just don't care anymore. (R.I.P. my love of pro sports)

2011-09-13T18:48:00.000-07:00

NHL season is quickly approaching and normally I would be reading all the forecast magazines and watching all the pre-season games, etc. Not this year. Something funny happened when the last NHL season ended. I lost interest. Not just in the NHL, but in ALL pro sports.And before anyone thinks this is just because the Canucks failed to win the cup,it's not. If the Canucks failing to win were enough to make me lose interest, I would have stopped watching around 1973. It's never been ALL about my teams winning. Yes, that part, when/if it happens is great fun. But for me, it's always been about the enjoyment of the games themselves. I had already lost interest in the NFL years ago but now it has spread to ALL pro sports. I thought that I would at least watch the CFL this year but, no, same thing. I tune into "the game" and....nothing. I just don't care. I just cant be bothered anymore. So, good-bye my love of pro-sports. It was a great and glorious ride with a lot of fun memories. I got to see my beloved Lions win the Grey Cup at home. In a luxury box, no less! I even got to go to a Canuck game 7 play-off game. It was vs Winnipeg in 1992 I believe. However, life goes on and I have far better things to care about in my life now. I no longer need the emotional thrill,nor validation that comes from "my" team winning a game or even winning it all. Perhaps,one day, I may "go back" but for now,I just don't care anymore.

nope, I didn't

2011-04-07T04:10:00.001-07:00

My 5 fave Sci-Fi movies

2011-04-01T23:22:00.000-07:00

This is strictly off the top of my head,without really analyzing more options.

Planet of the Apes (1968)......the first movie that really grabbed my attention as a kid. I became obsessed with the apes! (ps...the remake was better than givn credit for)

The Empire Strikes Back....episode 5 of the Star Wars saga. EASILY the best of the franchise.

Forbidden Planet......this is the movie my dad & I were watching the night my grandfather died. (or the night I was told about it) and it has stayed in my memory ever since. The debut of Robbie the Robot!

Westworld.....A vacation resort populated by life-like robots? cooooool

War of the Worlds....classic. 'nuff said

top ten movie list

2011-03-23T15:42:00.000-07:00

Watched an interesting show last night. it was one of those top 5 movie list things. top romantic movie,top sci-fi movies,etc.
I always find these shows interesting. Not for what they put on their lists,but what they leave off.
I really only had a couple gripes about their choices. one - The original Planet of the Apes didnt make top 5? really? It launched and or revitalized a few careers. 4 sequels, a tv show,a saturday morning cartoon show all as a result of the original flick. The statue of liberty scene at the end is an iconic image. Catch-phrases sprang from this movie. It won an Oscar for new, innovative make-up techniques and doesnt warrant top 5? whatever.

I also would have put Singin' in the Rain higher than Sound of music,but thats just a personal choice and not based on awards or such. I personally have never found anything about the nazi terror that warrants breaking out into song. But thats just me.

I will be making my own "top 5 (or 10)" lists. The biggest problem is there are just too many movies over the last 100 years and narrowing down some choices is very hard. I will be doing it by genre and,probably,decades or 20 year segments.

if....

2011-03-17T01:19:00.000-07:00

edith bunker married a semi-rearded drunk would it be called "All in the Family Guy"?

Possible movie titles for future Jason movies

2011-03-17T01:01:00.000-07:00

Kill Bill. and frank,and alice,and bob,and jane,and anyone else stupid enough to come to this campground after the shit thats gone down here.

The (Hockey) Mask in which a misfigured and misunderood boy slaughters those who make fun og him before laying down to die in his sleep. or does he?

I'll think of more....gimme time

Friday the 13th

2011-03-16T23:41:00.000-07:00

Was discussing the Jason movies with a buddy last night and thought that it would be fun to rank them in the order i liked them. here goes.....

1) Pt 2. This was the first of them that I saw so it has sentimental value to me. It also has what I conider to be the creepiest scene from all of them. The scene where Amy finds Jasons cabin in the woods but in the background you can see Jason running up the trail to the cabin. It gives me chills everytime I see it. The end scene where he crashes through the window gets me every time as well, even though Ive seen the movie a dozen times at least.

2) Pt 4   This one is a close second for me. My fave scene is the dude in the basement yelling "he's killing me, get out"   It also has Crispin Glover taking a corkscrew to the hand. Any time that weirdo gets killed on screen is okay with me.

3) Pt 1 This movie started it all. That alone gives it a higher ranking than most,even if it aint Jason doing the slicing and dicing

4) Pt 3   The first ever 3-d movie I saw. The acing was horrible but,really,in these movie you aint gonna get Laurence Olivier anyhow. It also gave birth to the hockey mask! Previously Jason had been seen masquerading as the elephant man.

5) Pt 6   This one had Horshack (from Kotter fame) getting hacked to death. hearing the audience yell "oh!oh!oh! mr kotter!" while Jason sliced him to bits was hilarious.

6) Pt 8 Jason Takes Manhattan. Jason (although apparently deathly afraid of water) walking UNDER WATER for hundreds of miles folllowing a grad classes pleasure yacht all the way to New York. The ending is confusing but thats more because pt 9 completely ignored it. Still fun to watch though.

7) Pt 10 (Space Jason.....Spason?) Pretty decent if you can ignore the "Jason rides a body back to earth" part at the end.

8) Pt 7 Brutally bad effects but interesting story. The producers were reined in by censors and such, thats why the bad effects. Its just that the kills werent too imaginative either.

9) Pt 9 Bad,simply bad. Jasons actually a body-possessing evil mutant worm? WTF?

10) Pt 5 Bad kills,Bad acting,bad effects and doesnt even have Jason in it. This one sucks the most of them all.

Purposely left out the recent remake (which I did enjoy. Its basically the first 4 movies rolled into one) or Jason vs Freddy,which I also enjoyed...a throwback to the old universal monster team-ups.

BACK FROM THE CULT!

2011-02-09T21:45:00.001-08:00

About a week or so ago an old friend popped back into my life. Quite honestly,a friend I thought I would never see again. Something I always thought was a shame because this is a friend I truly never knew what was gonna happen when we hung out. Not because he was unpredictable but because the moost random,crazy stuff would occur. Usually just something hilarious and unexpected. Good times! I am greatly looking forward to new "bits"

sup

snow,wonderful snow!

2010-11-17T15:26:00.000-08:00

well, it has snowed twice so far,but it has yet to stick. how can I go skiing if it doesnt snow properly?

I'm Back!

2010-11-10T08:35:00.000-08:00

I know. BIG DEAL! lol. I see its been 4 months since I posted anything. I actually deleted this but now that I have regular access to a computer I decided it was time to get back into the blogiverse.
A lot has happened since I last posted anything here. I moved out of the recovery house (just after taking my 1-year cake! yay for me). I moved back home to the Kootenays and promptly won $4500.00 on keno!
Saving most of the money for rent and food but did treat myself to a couple things. The coolest being a tattoo!

Anyhow, time to go out in the real worls. I'll be back tomorrow.

things are looking better.

2010-07-21T10:44:00.000-07:00

Not that they were ever really that bad. pretty much any misfortune Ive had in life was my own doing/stupidity. However,things ARE looking up. There is a slight chance that by the end of August I will be moving back home. If not August,then by christmas. I am very excited. it is time to face the real world and live life on life's terms on my own,without the comfort and ese of the recovery house. It has been a pain at times but,in the long run,it has been worth it. I have built a good foundation on which to face the real world and it is time to move on.

well.it's official...

2010-06-24T11:29:00.001-07:00

I have now become one of those people who seldom ,if ever, update their blog.

Fancy that!

2010-04-12T13:26:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm moving. The people that run the recovery house have taken over another one and I am being moved there. I am being moved there to be house monitor. (inmate running the asylum!!)
Doesn't pay much but rent will be way cheaper and everything is included (food,cable,phone,etc). Plus I will have office and internet access! I'll probably have more of a presence here after that.

the newest chip in my collection

2010-04-07T15:10:00.000-07:00

The newest in my on-going sobriety chips collection! Yup, that's a 6! Halfway to a free cake.

Speaking of that 3rd birthday party...

2010-04-07T15:03:00.000-07:00

I was getting ready to head out to my great-nephew Riley's 3rd birthday party on Sunday and had this conversation with one of the guys : (my half is in italics)

"Hey, Alex, are you going to the noon AA meeting today?"
"Nope, I'm going to my great-nephew's 3rd birthday party"
"Oh, how old is he?"
"Um, 3...?"
"Oh, is it his birthday?"

and people wonder why I get frustrated living here!

Me and my great nephew Jacob

2010-04-07T14:58:00.000-07:00

This was taken at my other great nephew, Riley's 3rd birtday party the other day. This guy here is his cousin Jacob. That tiny face in the background is Jacob's sister Jenna. She's a sweetie.

Study...

2010-03-26T11:32:00.001-07:00

The Western Canadian Provinces funded a study to see why the

head of a man's Penis was larger than the shaft. After 1 year and

$180,000, they concluded that the reason that the head was larger than

the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

The Quebec Government decided to do their own study. After $250,000 and 3 years of

research, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to

give the woman more pleasure during sex..

Newfoundland, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted

their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, and 2

cases of beer, they concluded that it was to keep a man's hand from

slipping off and hitting himself on the forehead.

new email address

2010-03-23T13:27:00.001-07:00

ok, from now on if you get ANY email from me (besides this one of course) from my hotmail account. DELETE IT! I didn't send it.I am leaving it open for job search reasons for now (the resumes Ive sent out have this address on it), but for personal communications I will be using my gmail account.

alexxemak@gmail.com

As the day goes...

2010-03-09T15:10:00.000-08:00

well, I'm at school and it's a pretty slack day so I thought I would keep this page open all day and do an on-going "as it occurs to me blog. Here goes...

okay, it's 9:30 and I'm having trouble getting started. not because it's difficult stuff but because I didn't get a very good sleep last night and I feel mildly retarded today. Trying to finish the last of the online courses that school paid for. The last portion is accounting principles and closing entries. I hope to finish today. If I can get my brain started that is.

10:00 . still havent got much done. man, I feel dumb today. very slow. Time for a smoke.
COFFEE! that might help. I knew there was something missing from my diet today. mmmm coffee.

Lost another guy from the house last night. He voluntarily moved after being gone overnight without a phonecall or anything. He didn't want to have to do the penalty time (restrictions,etc) so he and the owner came to a mutual decision it was probably best that he leave. I'll miss him. NOT.

Getting excited for the end of March to come. A good friend that I haven't seen in almost 4 years is coming out for a job interview and we will be getting together for coffee! I am STOKED for that. Hopefully we will be getting together with a couple other friends from my past .Good times,good times.

Finally got some work done here. It's now nearing 11:30. Time to head off to the nooner AA meeting and when I get back it's test time. Last one. Hope to get my standard 100%...lol

Okay, 1:00 ...time for the test.
random thought. 24 is good, as usual, but the last twoepisodes haven't had the normal "train wreck coming" type of ending. They've been good episodes but rather tame endings by 24 standards.

---joke break--- here's a few funnies emailed to me that I read while taking a break from the test....

A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

1) She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
2) Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
3) Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
4) Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
5)And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

WOMEN'S REVENGE

'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. 'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.
'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?" He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooooooooooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own ... so does she!"
(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'
'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.'
The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. . .
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him up at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man awoke, only to find it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woke him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed..
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
(Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests)

God may have created man before woman, but there's always a rough draft before the masterpiece!!

Okay, back to the test...Test done.....96% Here are all my final numbers/test scores...
The first score is "current" meaning the most recent taking of the test , the 2nd is the highest score I received. (multiple attempts allowed.)
Time Management      94%   / 100%
Advanced formatting Word 2007   98%  / 100%
Advanced document navigation and review Word 2007   89% / 99%
Manipulating & formatting data in Excel 2007   98% / 100%
Accounting systems and closing activities    96% / 99%

That means my "current" average is 95% and my "higest" average is/was 99.6%
Now what? lol.

Long day. Going home. Now I wait for the job offers to start rolling in!

good weekend

2010-03-09T08:43:00.001-08:00

i had a fabulous weekend this past weekend. got to ride the West Coast Express. It's a commuter train, but not a rapid transit like one. It's like a real choo choo. very comfortable. its a double decker train with booth sitting, a coffee bar,a sleeping car and an honest to goodness conductor. He's all dressed up fancy like too. I could get used to having to ride that puppy everyday if I had to. Its more expensive than normal transit but well worth it.
I was riding the fancy train to go visit my dad & step-mom (recently returned from their winter vacation in Arizona) it was a good visit. I was also in maple ridge to go to an all day affair called Soberfest. Had an excellent time. when they added up all the years of sobriety in the room there was over 1500 years! I had a great time amd will definitely be going to more of these types of affairs.

but seriously..

2010-03-03T09:48:00.000-08:00

sorry, just had to be a smart ass there.
Things are going pretty good. I'm going on 5 months sober. Quite an accomplishment. Rather proud of that.
I also just finished a 6-week self search/career directional course and now that school is doing all they can to get me work. They paid for 5 online courses that I am doing excellent at. My future looks quite good.
I got a rather unexpected vote of confidence yesterday as well : the guy that runs the recovery house I am staying at told me that once I have more sober time under my belt (at least a year) he would like me to go back to the house to work. In 5 months I have gone from being a hopeless drunk to someone that they want to employ to help others find a better path in life. I probably won't do that (full time anyway - I would consider coming in to do volunteer weekends or something) because if things work out the way school is planning them I will have a much better job and too little time on my hands, but it felt real damn good to have someone say that I could be a role model on how to live your life as opposed to being a poster boy for how to NOT live.
I am now the senior resident in the house. I have been there longer than anyone and I am also the oldest one there (including the owner hahaha). At 46 I am a senior citizen...lol
I also recently became the secretary for one of the groups here as well. Nothing too big, it's mostly on paper for red-tape stuff.

Well, that's about it for today...
how are you doing?

catching up

2010-03-03T09:17:00.000-08:00

well, lately I've been posting mostly jokes so i thought it was time to catch you up on what's going on in my life.

absolutely nothing.

gotcha!

Penguins

2010-03-03T08:41:00.001-08:00

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go?

Wonder no more ! ! !

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which

lives an extremely ordered and complex life.

The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life,

as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave

and sing:

"Freeze a jolly good fellow"

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

Then they kick him in the ice hole..

My grades so far...click on the image for a better picture

2010-02-24T15:12:00.000-08:00

first score is the score I got taking the test before doing the course work.

The Zen of Sarcasm (from my dad)

2010-02-22T09:18:00.000-08:00

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone .

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire .

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable . If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else .

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet .

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments .

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes . (my favorite)

9 . If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

10 . Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day .

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

12 . If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield .

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them .

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket .

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot .

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together .

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works .

19 . Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving .

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it .

21 . Never miss a good chance to shut up .

22 . Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night .

Liberal vs Conservatve.

2010-02-19T14:14:00.000-08:00

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.
If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down..

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.

If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.

hahahaha booooooooooo

2010-02-17T09:37:00.000-08:00

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS , BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS. NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED. SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS.. THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.

THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONK

funny thing I overheard the other day

2010-02-17T09:10:00.000-08:00

I was walking home and passed two pregnant women on the sidewalk. As I passed them I overheard this :

"my doctor says that sex during prenancy can be beneficial. It softens up the cervix and makes delivery easier"

The other woman responded with :

"well, then, mine's gonna be rock hard"

slight change.

2010-02-17T09:08:00.000-08:00

what? me change stuff here? no way.

What I've changed this time is in the list of blogs I vist. I checked some of the links and they either don't exist anymore or haven't benn updated in months and months. If yours was here and you'd like it back just post a comment saying so.

That's all for now, have a good day.

joke and pics (I clean up well)

2010-02-16T09:09:00.000-08:00

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. "Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

haha

2010-02-12T13:17:00.001-08:00

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm...

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24.. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

my 4 month sobriety chip

2010-02-11T14:15:00.001-08:00

got this last saturday....

my fave pic of me.

2010-02-11T14:11:00.001-08:00

took this with my phone in my bedroom. i really like this picture. I almost look cool. sexy even! lol

grad day

2010-02-11T14:05:00.000-08:00

Just finished a 6 week "self discovery/career directional course. today was grad day.....ain't I handsome?

quiz answers

2010-02-09T11:53:00.000-08:00

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Sure, lots of people were named BEFORE me. I'm only 46 years old.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I'm crying now

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
No, I prefer my hand doing something else but once in awhile it insists on writing

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
weiners. no, really.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS
I should be so lucky :(

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
absolutely, I rock.

7. DO YOU Use Sarcasm a Lot?
nooooooo

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
no

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
um, no.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CEREAL?
raisin bran

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
i wear them til they fall off on their own

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
not really. cam be sometimes. does body odor count?

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
tiger stripe. (orange and licorice)

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
their eyes

15. RED OR PINK?
red

16.. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOU?
i waste too much time taking quizzes

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST
my mommy.
then Jessica.
then Breanne.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
everyone? as in the whole planet? i hardly think so.

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
tan brownish

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
salad

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
the dweeb next to me telling yet another "one-up" story.you're far too young to have done all those things buddy.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
royal blue.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
food cooking.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Jackie

25.. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
she rocks

26. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
indoor or outdoor?

27. HAIR COLOUR?
dark blonde with some grey starting to show

28. EYE COLOUR?
blue

29.. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
no, used to but putting my finger in my eyes a couple times a day proved to be very dangerous

30. FAVOURITE FOOD?
whatever's on my plate

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
scary movies

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Zombieland

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
i'm naked (i'm on the internet , remember?)

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
depends from who?

36. Favourite Dessert
pineapple chunks in ice cream

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
someone I sent it to

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
people I didn't send it to.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
The Writer's handbook.
The Return Of Sherlock Holmes.
The Lst Godfather.
The Bible. (no, really)

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
um, my mouse?

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
24.

42. FAVOURITE SOUND?
children laughing

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
The Beatles

44. Where do you want to go next?
to work

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
nothing I can list here, children may be reading it.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
in a hospital

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
anyone who answers.

joke from Dad

2010-02-05T13:20:00.000-08:00

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled,

'You Can Be the Man of Your House.'

He stormed in to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know That I am the man of this house and my word is law.. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then
tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?'

The wife replied, 'The funeral director would be my first guess

Happy Birthday to My dad

2010-02-02T14:16:00.001-08:00

I love you dad.

feeling better

2010-01-24T13:21:00.000-08:00

feeling better these days. it took a rather tragic incident back home to make me realize how lucky I am.
I may be 500 miles from home but it's for a good reason, I shall be a better person for it in the long run and,besides, the kootenays aren't going anywhere, They'll still be there when i go back to stay.
I may be 500 miles from my best friend(s) but I do get to talk tothem just about everyday.
I have a roof over my head and am fed quite well. Life ain't so bad afterall.

??????

2010-01-18T19:46:00.001-08:00

what the hell happened to the dashboard here? i dont know if its a tempoarry glitch but everything has changed. if this is a permanent change I will be moving to a new blogsite. this sucks

2010-01-18T12:36:00.001-08:00

help

2010-01-18T12:35:00.001-08:00

i just wish i knew why i cant break out of this funk.

therapy exercise

2010-01-18T12:29:00.000-08:00

the counselor at school suggested I try this exercise :
imagine myself as a little boy and hug that child and tell him everything is going to be alright.
good idea but I keep running away from myself.

tired

2010-01-12T12:46:00.000-08:00

I just wanna go back home. Tired of living so far away,tired of living in a recovery house,tired of everything pretty much

Say Happy New Year with Messenger for Mobile. See more.

day 92

2010-01-08T12:27:00.000-08:00

don't know why ,but ever since I got back from my christmas visit I am having a great deal of trouble getting back into "it". haven't thought about drinking or anything but can't get out of this funk. I feel more angry,lonely,and frustrated than ever. Sobriety rules but recoverysucks. Getting tired of living ina recovery house. I just want to go home and start living a life again. I ahte being away from almost everyone I love.

Morning Sex

2010-01-08T08:51:00.000-08:00

She was standing in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast, wearing only the t-shirt that she normally slept in. As
I walked in almost awake she turned and said softly,

'You've got to make love to me this very moment.'
My eyes lit up and I thought, 'I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day.'
Not wanting to lose the moment I embraced her and then gave it my all right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said, 'Thanks,' and returned to the stove, her t-shirt still around her neck.A little puzzled, I asked, 'What was that all about?'

She explained, 'The egg timer's broken.'

2 woodpeckers

2010-01-07T15:24:00.001-08:00

*Two Woodpeckers*
*A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed. The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeckable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers ). The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challengeThe two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeckable' tree almost without breaking a sweat.Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country? After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion:
*Apparently,Tiger Woods was right, when he said, your pecker gets harder when you're away from home.*

what i'm looking forward to in 2010

2010-01-03T14:39:00.000-08:00

Mostly?Honestly? The Olympics being over. Because I am SICK AND TIRED of hearing about them. Since they were awarded to Vancouver/Whistler it has been nothing but "Olympics this" and "Olympics that" on the news and in the papers. Even before they were awarded actually. First we had to deal with months of propoganda/campaigning to get them here, and now for the past several years we've had to deal with "the olympics are coming! , the olympics are coming!" crap everywhere you look. I've had enough. The only reason I am even going to watch any of it is because my niece's dance group won a competition and will be performing in the closing ceremonies. I'm proud of her for that and am excited for her. It must be quite the thrill for her. Other than that I really can't wait for this corrupt,hypocritical event to come and go.
But of course after that I imagine it will be months and months of "wasn't that nice, we hosted the olympics" stuff on the news.

coming soon....

2009-12-30T20:05:00.000-08:00

I am compiling a list of top 10's. Both for the past year and the decade.
TV shows.Movies.Life moments.
should only take about a week to get done, be patient. :)

oh, on another note : I hope you all had a good christmas. I did. Went home to Salmo for a week, it was great. No skiing but that left me more time to visit people. Got to show all those people who have supported me that it has been worth it.
This is day 83. holy crap! where's the time go when you're not having too much fun? lol

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T20:31:00.001-08:00

Hope you all had a great Christmas. I know I did. Got to see some much missed friends.Didn't get any skiing in but that allowed me more time for visiting.Had a blast.

argh

2009-12-13T16:04:00.000-08:00

Sorry, havent posted much lately. been dealing with house issues and such. Will try to get the rest of the dinosaur story up. I'll be busy planning my trip homer to Salmo for most of this upcoming week. Getting excited about that. Hopefully they'll have some snow by then. I'll try to cheer up before I post again.

2009-12-05T16:38:00.000-08:00

what kind of wildlife lives in monastary's?
munk-ees of course.

Alittle known fact....

2009-11-26T18:46:00.000-08:00

The first testicular guard ("Cup") was used in hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.

That means it took 100 years for men to realize their brain was also important.....

pt 3 is up

2009-11-26T18:42:00.001-08:00

alexxemaktales.blogspot.com

Story blog

2009-11-21T16:26:00.000-08:00

okay, have added a new blog where I will post stories by myself. Here is the link alexxemaktales.blogspot.com.
The first part of the kid's dinosaur story is up. Will keep you posted as to when something new is there to read.
Enjoy!

almost done.

2009-11-12T10:47:00.000-08:00

well, i have just about finished writing the dinosaur adventure story for my best friends kids. (2 boys - ages 4 and 7- well 3 and 6 but both with birthdays coming up) . I'm thinking I might put it up here in installments or start a separate blog for it.

Punny stuff indeed!

2009-11-09T18:04:00.000-08:00

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, It's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning.."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident..
He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know, I amputated your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked.
"Because," he said. "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt , and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
20. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.
21. And finally, there was the person who sent 20 different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least 10 of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in 10 did.

funny bit.

2009-11-05T13:50:00.000-08:00

God said, 'Adam, I Want you to do Something for Me.'
Adam said, 'Gladly, Lord, what do You Want me to do?'

God said, 'Go down nto that valley.'
Adam said, 'What's a Valley?'

God explained it to Him. Then God said, 'Cross the river.'
Adam said, 'What's a River?'

God explained that To him, and then said, 'Go over to the hill....'
Adam said, 'What is a Hill?' So, God explained to Adam what a hill was.

He told Adam, 'On The other side of the Hill you will find a Cave.'
Adam said, 'What's a Cave?'

After God explained, He said, 'In the cave You will find a woman.'
Adam said, 'What's a Woman?'

So God explained That to him, too. Then, God said, 'I Want you to Reproduce.'
Adam said, 'How do I do that?'

God first said (under His breath), 'Geez.....' And then, just like Everything else, God Explained that to Adam, as well.

So, Adam goes down Into the valley, Across the river, and Over the hill, into the Cave, and finds the
Woman. Then, in about five Minutes, he was back.

God, His patience Wearing thin, saidAngrily, 'What is it Now?'
And Adam said....

'What's a headache?

cool stuff, made my day.

2009-11-03T10:28:00.000-08:00

finally got some mail at the house after sending out a bunch of letters. It was from my bestest friend Jessica.
The cool part was her kids ages 3 (the one who gave me my mantra) and 6 wanted to draw me a picture each. Way cool. one's a dinosaur and the other is undetermined at this time. lol. They drew the pictures because they know I moved far away and they miss me coming over to read them stories. I miss them too. I have a soft spot for kids.Getting the letter brightened my day and the pictures even more so. I feel good today. She also sent me 10 dollars and joking said it was for chocolate. So that's what I spent it on! Hey, she said that's what it was for, who am I to argue? lol.

joke from dad

2009-11-03T10:22:00.000-08:00

THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. 'THAT WAS MY PAGER,' SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM.

A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, 'THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE.. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND.'

THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW -TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM.. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END. THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER.
THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID..........WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT.....I'M GETTING A FAX!!

movie things and other stuffs.

2009-11-02T11:06:00.000-08:00

My halloween was awesome. first time in years I didn't dress up too. went to my nephews and helped him take his little ones trick or treating they are 2 and 1. it was a blast. exactly what I needed to lift me out of my doldrums as I had been feeling soemwhat depressed and angry for a few days at the time.

I'm compiling a list of some of my favorite scenes/lines from various movies as they pop into my head. They are numbered but not neccessarily in any particular order

1. (Star Wars ep. 4 )- the scene where luke breaks into leia's cell on the death star and says "I'm Luke Skywalker, I'm here to rescue you". something about this scene, I don't know what.

2. (Planes,Trains,and Automobiles) 2 scenes where steve martin and john candy are driving down the highway - "you're going the wrong way" & then the scene with the deer coming alive and the car ends up in flames. This whole movie I could go on and on about. My favorite comedy of all time.

3. (Planet of the Apes - the original) - 2 scenes from this one as well. "get your stinking paws off me,you damn dirty ape" and, of course, the Statue of Liberty scene at the end. Great stuff.

4. ( Star Trek - the 1st movie) - the scene where Spock finally rejoins the Enterprise. I'm somewhat of a nostalgic person and always liked this scene. Probably the only good one in a movie that otherwise sucked.

5. (Young Frankenstein ) - the scene where the camera pans across a shelf of various jars and heads,etc. and the you see Marty Feldman's bug-eyed face. funny stuff.

6. (Raiders of the Lost Ark) - Indiana Jones facing off with the big guy waving a sword around. Having had enough, he just pulls out his gun and shoots him. very funny.

7. (Rocky II) - at the end when Rocky has won and makes his speech,ending it with "yo adrian, I did it. has been parodies a lot over the years but at the time was a good scene, emotional, achieving something that nobody thought he could do.Don't we all like proving people wrong soemtimes?

8.(Blazing Saddles - back when Mell Brooks was still funny) - The chase between the sheriff and harvey korman ends up going into a theater showing Blazing Saddles- I found it hilarious at the time, still do.

9. (Superman - the 1978 version) - scene where Clark Kent is running down the road looking for a place to change into his superman suit and stops to glance over one of those half sized phone booths always gives me a chuckle.

10. (Star Wars ep6) - Anakin,having gone fully to the dark side and been defeated in battle by obi-wan, finally transforms into the darth vader we know and love and dons the black suit for the first time. tres cool.

11. (Tommy Boy) - Chris Farley trying to fix car door after backing into a pole and knocking it off it's hinges and then asking david spade "what did you do" when he tries to open the door and it falls off. Farley and Spade made a good comedy team, something movies today lack too many of.

12. (Friday the 13th pt 2) - before Jason put on the hockey mask (pt3) he had a pillow case hiding his features. In part two there is a scene where a girl finds his cabin and is looking around in horror and in the background through the window you can see Jason running up the path towards the cabin. eerie stuff.

13. (Steel Magnolias) 2 scenes - not sure who says it to her but one of the casts says to Shirley Maclaine (who is fantastic in this movie) "you are evil and should be destroyed" love it! and this movie. The other scene is after teh funeral and all th eladies are at gravesite and sally field is starting to cr and Olympia dukakis grabs shirley maclaine, turns her toward sally field and tries convincing her that everything will feel better if she just basically kicks the crap out of her. great (sad)-tension breaking moment. for a movie without aliens,things blowing up,or serial killers running amok,this movie is awesome.

14. (Babe the pig) - this scene always makes me cry. where the farmer tells Babe "that'll do pig, that'll do" watch this movie and don't cry at this part. I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU!.

15. (Evil Dead 1)- scene where one of the possessed girls grabs a pencil and stabs another girl in the ankle with it and starts twisting it around. ugh. it gives me the heebie jeebies. i usually have to look away.

okay, that's all for now, almost out of time at the library. more next time.

Just thinking pt2

2009-10-28T18:58:00.001-07:00

Damn, I'm delusional!
lol

Just thinking.....

2009-10-27T14:46:00.004-07:00

Damn, I'm sexy.

lol.

These are the people in my neighborhood....

2009-10-27T14:46:00.000-07:00

I thought you might like to hear about the people sharing the recovery house with me.
In the interests of fairness I shall name them all "Alex" (and have included what I hope is a fairly honest description of myself. I won't tell you which is me but will give you a hint - his name is Alex.

"Alex1" - an older guy, grumpy at times. Has a negative attitude about a lot of things. He claims to be there "for my recovery and my recovery only, don't care about anyone else's business" but then is constantly prying into it. "what you reading/writing/doing? where you going?". Will do everyone's chores and then complain about how "nobody does anything around here but me" Quick to point out when rules are being broke, unless he's the one breaking them.He's hard to take sometimes.

"Alex2" - Nice but talks very loud, isoltaes himself a lot, complains about the house, how it's ran. Argues with the previous "Alex1" so much it reminds me of an old married bitter couple.

"Alex3" - Younger than me by about 10 years. He's ok but you never know when he's pulling your leg. Sometimes not in a 'jokey' way either. He's a "loud walker" stomps about everywhere he goes. And frequently starts talking like donald duck for no reason. Lazy when it comes to his chores. Takes advantage of "Alex1"s penchant for just up and doing all the chores.

"Alex4" About my age, don't like him. He has a slight bit of "holier than thou"itis. His way is the only way,"my god is the only god" and ANYBODY who drinks ANYTHING is an alcoholic. Refers to himself in the 3rd person but by his nickname (**** is hungry, **** thinks we should do this... etc") it drives me nuts. He also thinks the entire house should go to church every sunday. Um,no. I think God is perfectl fine with me becoming a believer, trying to be a better person, and rwading my bible more. I don't think he's going to strike me down because I chose to do my praying and such at home. (if he was that picky he would have struck me down a long time ago)

"Alex5" - Relatively new to the house. Keeps to himself sometimes. Pitches in with his chores, tends to let others at the house get to him,rent space in his head. Sometimes takes a simple joke a little too personal.

"Alex6" - Younger sort (late 20's) - seems okay, great cook. A bit too racist and sexist for my liking, but he's young yet. Tries bending the restrictions a bit, not willing to do his time like everybody else had too. Fairly good atttude overall

"Alex7" - Live in counsellor/babysitter. Really nice. tries to get everyone involved in house activities such as movie night, game night or whatever. Doesnt take sides in arguments based on his personal feelings, listens to both sides and calls it like he sees it. Not afraid to call you on your bullshit either. His presence is a welcome thing. Very mellow guy.

"Alex8" - Nice guy, married with kids and thats where he has grumpy days , when he's missing them. Understandable. When he is in a bad mood he will goto his room or just read so as to not lash out at people who are convenient to lash out at.

That's it for now.
This is day 19 of sobriety. So far so good. Still get a lot (tons actually) out of going to A.A. everyday even though I onlhave to go 4 days a week now. I figure going everyday at least kills an hour and is a good excuse to leave the house for a bit.

See ya next time.

Bits and pieces (stuff from dad and other sassy bits from me)

2009-10-26T13:57:00.000-07:00

At 78 years of age, Wally married Anne, a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Anne decides that after their wedding she and Wally should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together. After the wedding festivities Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected 'knock' on the door.Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Wally, her 78 year old groom, ready for action.They unite as one.All goes well, Wally takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.After a few minutes, Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Wally. Again he is ready for more 'action.' Somewhat surprised, Anne consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done,Wally kisses his bride,bids her a fond goodnight and leaves. She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it....Wally is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more 'action.' And, once again they enjoy each other.But as Wally gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, ''I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover,Wally.'' Wally, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Anne and says,''You mean I was here already?''

The moral of the story: Don't be afraid of getting old, senior moments have advantages.
(note by Alex - I've never been afraid of getting older - it beats the alternative)

A nurse on the pediatric ward, before listening to the little ones' chests, would plug the stethoscope into their ears and let them listen to their own heart. Their eyes would always light up with awe, but she never got a response equal to four-year old David's comment. Gently she tucked the stethoscope into his ears and placed the disk over his heart. 'Listen', she said...'What do you suppose that is?' He drew his eyebrows together in a puzzled line and looked up as if lost in the mystery of the strange tap - tap - tapping deep in his chest. Then his face broke out in a wondrous grin and he asked,

'Is that Jesus knocking?' -(is that cute or what?)

My dad sent me one of those "pick an item and scroll down to see what it reveals of you"

Here were the choices :

1. Angel Food Cake
2. Brownies
3. Lemon Meringue Pie
4. Vanilla Cake With Chocolate Icing
5. Strawberry Shortcake
6. Chocolate Cake With Chocolate Icing
7. Ice Cream
8... Carrot Cake

I picked Lemon Meringue Pie, here's what it said about me :
LEMON MERINGUE -- Smooth, sexy, & articulate with your hands, you are an excellent caregiver and a good teacher.(but a slow learner) But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time.(how very true) A bit of a diva at times,(DIVA? How dare they!) you set your own style because you do your own thing. (that's where being good with my hands comes in - 'doing my own thing') You shine when it comes to helping others and have many friends. (Aside from my comments this is a rather accurate description of yours truly)

True bit : Because I write a lot more letters to a lot more people nowadays, I figured buying a diary would be a good way to remember everything between letters so I could remember what to write about and also not repeat myself. I figure I'll pick a day of the week,probably sundays to do all my writing and just reference to the diary to recall the events of the past week. First entry in the diary? (because I can't resist being a smart-ass- even to myself).
"Dear diary, today I bought a diary"
I crack me up!

I like to buy intelligent pants. I figure that's the best place to put a smart-ass!

Until next time : stay happy,healthy,and safe.

Love you all.

stuff

2009-10-25T16:14:00.000-07:00

Thinking I'm going to start a support group for homosexual canadian alcoholics.
I'll call it "Gay Eh" instead of "AA"

Had a cool thing happen yesterday. I was on the back patio having a smoke when a squirrel came sauntering up. He was holding an acorn or some kind of nut in his paws and sat up on it's hind legs and stared at me for about 20 seconds, occasioanally tilting his head from side to side as if examining me to try and figure out what/who I was. Then just ambled off back towards the trees. It was prety cool.

Big sis Laura came and visited me and took me out to lunch today. It was a nice visit. (free lunch is always good...haha). We had a good chat about my recovery and life in the house etc. When she dropped me off she gave me a big hug and told me she was proud of me and loved me. I'm gonna go home and cry now. But happy tears!

(Belated) Birthday cake at the house tonight! And a present! good times,good times!

Praying for Tyler tonight. Had a relapse and has had to go to a different recovery house ( a more in-depth/intense program. He's a good guy.

halfway there

2009-10-23T11:21:00.000-07:00

halfway to my 30 day "token of triumph"
not bad considering a little more than 3 weeks ago I wouldn't have qualified for a 30 minute one.
I wouldn't make it without the support of my family (I'm very blessed there) or my many friends. BWhether they be "real-life" friends or internet based. The supprot from all makes me feel good and that I can and will make it.
Shouldn't be much of a problem, I only have the rest of my life to go!

Random bits

2009-10-22T18:42:00.000-07:00

shortly after i had taken my faceplant onto the sidewalk i was visiting a very good friend. her three year old was at the table showing me his various "boo-boo's" and "owies". then he asked me how i had gotten my "owie" (my face and forehead were all scraped and cut). so i told him I fell. he asked me if i tripped so i said "yeah,yeah,that's it..i tripped" he replied with the following. "well, that's why you gotta chop trees". it was sooo cute cuz he had a very serious,thoughtful look on his face.

I've kinda adopted "chopping trees" as a mantra of sorts. When i feel like having a drink i think "nah, i'm better off just chopping trees"

Well, i was left off restrictions at the recovery house a day early. so i am at the library all by myself. I feel so grown up! I even crossed the road by myself to get here! :)

Weird....

2009-10-21T14:46:00.000-07:00

I realized last night that during my depressed last couple days that I had not done my prayers at night or in the morning. (I am finding comfort in praying - the phrase "where's Alex and what have you done with him" comes to mind...lol) So last night before supper i said a prayer, looked up some stuff in the bible for a friend who is going through some tough times emotionally (it kills me to not be there in person for her) she's a strong believer in God and I thought some appropriate scriptures mght help. Also found some for myself and felt a bit better. Then one of the other guys in the house and I decided to play scrabble. I reached into the bag to grab my 1st 7 tiles to begin the game. With my 1st grab I only got 3 , put them on the tile-holder and grabbed my other 4. when I went ot put them on the holder I saw that the 1 st 3 I had grabbed spelled G-O-D.
It sent shivers down my spine.

I've decided that I'm not going to put the number of "recovery days" in the subject matter anymore. I thought instead that I will just talk about my progress and when reaching a milestone where I get a "Token of Triumph" from A.A. I will let you know. The first one was a 24 chip (they look like poker chips). The next one is my 30 day chip. A little over 2 weeks to go for that one.

Today I am feeling a lot better. I had a couple really depressed,feeling sorry for myself days but am much better now. Nothing about what was depressing me has changed but I feel much better. The power of prayer I guess!
Until next time : stay happy,healthy,and safe.
I'll try to do the same.

Recovery ....Day 13

2009-10-20T11:25:00.000-07:00

(I know the math doesn't add up but I miss counted when making the original "recovery post"...this is day 13)
13 down, ther rest of myb life to go.
Well, that last few days have been rough. I'm really missing my friends and family. Depression is seting in a bit and it's probably a good thing I'm in an enviroment such as I am because I would definitely have gone for a beer and we all know it never stops at 1. I will use the strength I get from the A.A. meetings to carry me through this trying time. On a good note, this beibng day 13 is a new record of sobriety for me. Soo I'm using that as a positive reinforcement tool. Not too chatty today so that's about it for now. Will give you updates when I can.

Recovery...Day 8

2009-10-17T12:32:00.000-07:00

Well I am in my 8th day at the recovery house and so far it is going good. I have yet to face any crisis though so that is when the real test will come. I find I get a lot out of going to A.A. meetings as I can draw from everyone's experiences. Some pretty hard core types that have managed to stay sober for many years. it gives me inspiration that I, too , can make it. I also find myself becoming more spiritual. Not religious, mind you, but spiritual. I actually prayed the other night and a calmness came over me. The house I am in is nice. We get fed really really good.(and it's an ALL MALE house, I may never leave, hahaha) We are required to go to an outside A.A. meeting everyday as well as the morning house A.A. meeting. I know I have struggles ahead (emotionally) as I progress through the program. I am on Step one (realizing I am powerless over alcohol and that my life had become unmanageable) and some of the steps coming up look quite daunting but by then I hope to have found the strength to get through them. I hope to come out of this a better person. (apparently I'm not perfect after all! lol) I deserve better and so does my family and other loved ones. I'm not much good to anyone dead or a hopeless drunk.
I will keep you posted on my progress and until next time :
Stay happy,stay healthy, stay safe.

2009-10-17T12:24:00.001-07:00

(courtesy of George Carlin)

George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. 'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony.

YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling.. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone...

But! wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and make it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3.Keep learning! Learn more about (LINE DANCING),computers, crafts, gardening, whatever, even ham radio. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's family name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6 The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips.. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body,

but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting '..holy sh*t ....what a ride!'

2009-10-09T03:52:00.000-07:00

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and
Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool,Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there..
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged,since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love... I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.. How soon can I go home?'

random thoughts.

2009-10-02T03:27:00.000-07:00

according to doctors, at the time of his autopsy Michael Jackson was a healthy man. Funny, at the time of his autopsy I thought he was dead....

Enjoying Survivor so far. I almost like that mean Ryussell guy.

Moving back to the Vancouver area. It sucks but it's what I gotta do to get healthy.

I'm out of the hotel now. Staying at a friend's place for now until I get the call to go down to the coast.

This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G = 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

Life boils down to 2 questions :

1) Should I get a dog

or 2) should I have children?

jokes from dad

2009-09-15T10:48:00.000-07:00

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello?"

"Mrs. Sanders, please."

"Speaking."

"Mrs. Sanders, this is Dr. Jones at St. Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which."

"That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders.

"Normally we can, but the new health care system will only pay for these expensive tests just one time."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The folks in Washington who are reforming health care recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."

How the world works lately... If a man cuts his finger off while Slicing salami at work, He blames the restaurant. If you smoke three packs a day For 40 years and die of lung cancer, Your family blames the Tobacco company. If your neighbor crashes Into a tree while driving home drunk, He blames the bartender. If your grandchildren are Brats without manners, You blame television. If your friend is shot by a Deranged madman, You blame the gun manufacturer.. And if a crazed person breaks Into the cockpit and Tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, And the passengers Kill him instead, The mother of the crazed deceased Blames the airline. I must have lived too long to Understand the world As it is anymore. So, if I die while my OLD WRINKLED ASS is parked in front of this computer, I want all of you to Blame Bill Gates.

Buttons you wish you could wear at work

2009-09-15T10:45:00.000-07:00

congrats!

2009-09-11T12:37:00.001-07:00

Congrats to my niece Megan (16)....she has been chosen to be one of the dancers in the closing ceremonies in the 2010 Olympics! wooot wooot!

2009-09-09T19:21:00.000-07:00

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX),Bill Gates reportedly
compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry
has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press
release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this
part ):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........
Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no
reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the
windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you
could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn
would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you
would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on
only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights
would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal
Operation' warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock
you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have
to learn how to drive all over again be cause none of the controls would
operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off

PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call
'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign
language how to fix your car yourself!!!!

This man thought he had the best tatoo in the world....

.....until he went to prison

WOMEN'S ASS SIZE STUDY

2009-09-09T18:37:00.000-07:00

WOMEN'S ASS SIZE STUDY

There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses; the results were pretty interesting:

30% of women think their ass is too fat............

10% of women think their ass is too skinny......

The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he's a good man and they wouldn't trade him for the world.

Random bits

2009-09-08T14:49:00.000-07:00

If Either "Jon" or "Kate" get their own series will it be called "Jon & Kate plus 8 minus 7"?

Awhile ago I wrote that they should bring back the old tv series "V"....guess I must know a thing or two because this fall a new version is coming out!! woooooooooooooooooo

Saw the movie "The Wrestler" a couple nights back. Very good, very realistic portrayal of life in the minor leagues of wrestling.

Also watched "Babe the Pig" on saturday...twice. The end never fails to make me cry like a baby. ("That'll do pig, that'll do")

SAw this sign on the post office bulletin board. It has to be the funniest "lost and found" ad I've ever seen : "LOst - one GPS device. Reward, etc" They still have the thing they want to track but lost the tracking device! lol

PLaying a lot of NES open these days. It's a golf game for the original ninendo system. Circa 1991. STill one of the most fun golf games to play. I even got two hole in one's!

Finally got to see "The Dark Knight". It was great. Heath Ledger made a fantastic Joker.

The tv show "Weeds" has a new commercial out promoting the new season. The song in it is terribly annoying.

If I must pay for my sins, I insist on a bulk discount

Ciao

assorted.....

2009-08-25T16:19:00.000-07:00

Heard a great line in a Jack Benny tv show the other night. The guest was Bob Hope and he hitting on a secretary. She kept being rude to him, this is how the e4xchange ended :
Bob Hope : "What are you doing tonight?"
Secretary : "Nothing"
Bob Hope : "Figures"
SImple yet hilarious.

I've had a few people come up and ask me if it's true that I came cout of the closet. The funny part is that they seem to be more afraid of asking me than I was of telling them!

I should probably eat something today. Didn't eat yesterday either. Not a good habit to get into.

I have 5 old-time radio cd's coming. Should give me plenty of listening material.

I may take a break from blogging for a bit, got to get my head in the right place (No pun intended.)and take care of some personal things.

E-mail from Dad

2009-08-25T16:06:00.000-07:00

1. Kimberley Big Hole - South Africa. Apparently the largest ever hand-dug excavation in the world, this 1097-meter-deep mine yielded over three tons of diamonds before being closed.

2. Glory Hole - Monticello Dam, California. This is the Glory Hole at Monticello Dam, and it's the largest in the world of this type of spillway, its size enabling it to consume 14,400 cubic feet of water every second. A glory hole is used when a dam is at full capacity and water needs to be drained from the reservoir.

3 Great Blue Hole, Belize. This incredible geographical phenomenon known as a blue hole is situated 60 miles off the mainland of Belize. There are numerous blue holes around the world but none as stunning as this one.

4 Sinkhole in Guatemala.This photo is of a sinkhole that occurred February 2007 inGuatemala.It swallowed two dozen homes and killed at least three people.

5. This is the famous Rat Hole in Ottawa. It is capable of swallowing Millions of Tax Payers Money annually, never to be heard from again! It is reputed to contain at least 400 ass"holes".

last halloween

2009-08-20T15:45:00.001-07:00

came across these pics and thought I would share them with you again!

This year (I know it's awhile until halloween but I like to plan way ahead) think....
Cheerleader!

stuff

2009-08-18T12:44:00.001-07:00

After being interviewed by the school administration, the prospective teacher said:
'Let me see if I've got this right.
'You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love for learning.
'You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride.
'You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook, and apply for a job.
'You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the final exams.
'You also want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents in English, Spanish or any other language, by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.
'You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard,a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps.
'You want me to do all this and then you tell me...... I CAN'T PRAY?

Apparently Sara Sidle is returning to CSI for 5 episodes....YAY!
Now, if they can get Gil to come back for a visit all will be right in the world.

Johnny Depp as The Mad Hatter next year...can't wait.

How come on crime shows when the cops ask a suspect "for the clothes you wore that night" the guilty people actually give them the real clothes? I know if I were guilty I sure as hell wouldn't. "Yeah, yeah, these are the clothes"

A long time ago I wrote about how I loved watching my DVD of old Dragnet episodes because actors who went on to become big stars often show up in guest star roles. Now I have a new reason : I've been re-watching some and have noticed in the credits that people I hear on old radio shows also appear frequently and now I can put faces to the names. Kinda cool for me.

There is a job opening in Salmo that I qualify for : office/clerical/bookkeeping stuff, gee, only EXACTLY what I went to school for ! Plus it's union! Wish me luck.

Was telling a friend that skiing has replaced alcohol as my main passion in life but that either one leads to a downhill slide! hahaha.

okay, that's all folks and, as usual, stay safe, stay happy. And if you can't do that - take the bastards down with ya!

:)

assorted stuff.

2009-08-15T12:10:00.000-07:00

You're An EXTREME Redneck When...

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying 'Hey, guys, watch this'.
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines'.
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Bought a shirt that said "one size fits all" - what a crock...I couldn't fit more than 2-3 of us into it!

I think...

2009-08-14T14:08:00.001-07:00

I think this winter I will try snowboarding. I am told that if you can snowboard halfways decently that skiing becomes a bit easier.

Wish me luck!

flight tips

2009-08-14T14:07:00.001-07:00

What to do on an airplane when you find yourself seated next to a real
jerk:

1. Take out your laptop.
2. Slowly open your laptop.

3. Turn it on.

4. Make certain your neighbor is watching.
5. Open your internet browser.

6.. Close your eyes for a few moments, open them and then look up to the
sky, or the heavens if you will, as if to be talking to your maker

7. Breathe deeply and open the site http://www..myit-media.de/the_end.html

) 8. Look at the expression on your neighbor's face.

whatever.......:)

2009-08-11T14:22:00.000-07:00

Just watched Gran Torino with Clint Eastwood. Great movie, definitely worth checking out if (and who doesn't?) like Clint.

I have a couple of the "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader" books. The bottom of each page has a little,interesting bit of trivia. Here's but a few of them from "Uncle John Plunges Into History" (comments mine) :

The 1st ever income-tax was levied in Great Britain,to fund the war against Napoleon.(1803-1815)
No only child has ever been elected President of the USA.
Russia's February Revolution was in March, the October Revolution was in November.
Women in Switzerland didn't get the vote until 1971
Canada's 1880 Indian Act defined "person" as "an individual other than an Indian"(and then we only made them wait another 70 years to get the vote. Canada..what an enlightened country !)
In 1893,New Zealand became the 1st country to allow women to vote in national elections.
Dr. David Livingston wasn't actually lost. He just wasn't keen on being found.(who can't relate to that?)
Benjamin Harrison,who left office in 1893, was the last bearded U.S. president.(that is until Hillary get in)
Before the Boston Tea Party,the British actually lowered taxes, not raised them.
In England, in the 1700's, it was possible to buy insurance against going to hell.(the devil made them do it)
America's first nudist colony was established by three men. (hmmmmmm?where do I sign up?)

okay, time's short, see ya next time. Until then : as always, stay safe , stay happy :)

tidbits and jokes from Dad.

2009-08-10T18:33:00.000-07:00

The Following are pictures from New Cook County Correctional Center, Chicago, Illinois.......isn't it a nice little home? Where's the incentive to obey the law?

What a difference a century makes!
Here are some statistics for the Year 1909 :

The average life expectancy was 47years.
Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!
The average wage in 1909 was 22 cents per hour.
The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year .
A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,
A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME.
Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!
(Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which
were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard.')
Sugar cost four cents a pound.
Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.

Five leading causes of death were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.
The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!!
Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea hadn't been invented yet.
There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write.
Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school...

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said,'Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health'

Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help.
There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE ! U.S.A. !

The Following are pictures from New Cook County Correctional Center, Chicago, Illinois.......isn't it a nice little home? Where's the incentive to obey the law?

In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah,who was now living in the United States, and said:"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me."
"Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans." He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:"You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah
weeping in his yard - but no Ark."Noah!," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power
lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it. Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I
needed the wood to save the owls - but no go! When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space. Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work. The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience. To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets,
claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10
years for me to finish this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked,"You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. "The GOVERNMENT beat me to it."

Mount Rushmore from the other side :

just stuff.

2009-08-07T13:06:00.000-07:00

First things first...it's my mom's birthday today! Happy birthday mom! love ya.

I think CSI should have another season-long story arc similar to the "miniature killer" one from a couple seasons back. Or perhaps a recurring nemesis like Paul Milander.

Since movies & TV are always reviving/re-imagining old shows...why not bring back "V"? It remains one of my fave shows of all time.

I've added a "search this blog" tab at the bottom of the page if you're interested. Very handy tool actually. But then again, so am I!

Yay! My beloved BC Lions finally won again! Start planning the parade route now!

a few things

2009-07-29T18:34:00.000-07:00

Received another of those "my father/husband died and I need your help...." emails today. There wasn't much to set it apart from the countless others I have received over the years, except for who sent it : VICTOR AND THE MOTHER. Quite amusing.

Yay, no more Casey on Big Brother!

here's a "meme" from Diane:

1.] How come I can never find: A pen when I need one? When I don't need one they are EVERYWHERE!
2.] I wish I'd never started: Smoking...'nuff said.
3.] I wonder why: People go out of their way to hurt others.
4.] Mama always told me: "it's good for you"
5.] There's this one thing in my closet that I just can't seem to get rid of: nothing, did a majring ceaning
6.] My favorite guilty pleasure is: ht sauce poured on everything
7.] I always forget to: take my room keys and I am forever having to get my spare key
8.] I have never: been to NEW YORK city but I will one day!
9.] I'm obsessed with: Dopewars on Facebook
10.] One of my favorite memories is: a family vacation when I was about 9 or something. Me,mom,dad,my 2 sisters, and Tiger the family dog travelling all over BC in a Volkswagen van! It was great.

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe , as it happens, nearTransylvania. They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail! The car swerves and smashes into a tree.

Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his wife unconscious, with her head bleeding! Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance.

Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming from a large, old house. He approaches the door and knocks.

A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?"

"I'm sorry," replied the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor; come in and I will get him!"
Bob brings his wife in.

An older man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had a basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."

With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.

After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.

The Hills' deaths upset Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise, marking the beat! He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight!

Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory. He bursts in and shouts to his master:
"Master, Master! . The Hills are alive with the sound of music!"

A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth.He tries this a few more times with no success.

All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window,
Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.
She opens the window and yells to her husband, 'You need a piece of tail.'The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, 'Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite.'

One reason I like old movies & TV shows is you sometimes catch actors long before they became famous. Saw a very young (roughly 20) Ryan O'Neal today.

According to Facebook my redneck name is "Cletus"....yeeeeeehaw!

I'm getting the feeling that it's going to be a looooooong season for my beloved BC Lions. Oh well, they've had a pretty good run so I guess they're due for a poor year.

That's all for now, take care.

assorted bits and pieces

2009-07-28T16:11:00.000-07:00

Well, got my place as clean as it's ever been. Had to, there were room inspections and all. Feels good to have it this clean.I even scrubbed the walls down!I sweated it all day, not knowing if I had done a good enough job to suit her. But I apparently did. Whoo hoo!

Saw the original Willy Wonka movie on Sunday. It's better than the new one (despite Mr. Depp's presence).
Was watching Seinfeld earlier today and, more than 10 years after it left the air, it's still funnier than a lot of what's on now.

About half way through one of the Sherlock Holmes books. Pretty good stuff. I'm actually reading 2 other books but at a snail's pace.

Big Brother tonight! Yeah!

My beloved Lions are stinking baaaad so far this season. They are not only losing, they are creating new ways to do it. SEason's still young but the early prognosis is NOT good.

I've been smoking a lot less lately for some reason. Not a conscious effort or anything, it's just working out like that.

I've become addicted to the game "Bouncing Balls" at facebook.

It's a soup and sandwich night for dinner tonight. Way too freaking hot to be cooking. Tuna sandwiches and tomato soup...mmm mmm good!

Getting kicked out of the library, talk to ya later

joke time

2009-07-28T16:04:00.000-07:00

Buttercups and Golf balls....
Towards the end of the golf course, Tom hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch..

All of a sudden... POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said, "I'm Mother Nature!" "Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?" "Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life; better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life. As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything the rest of your life!"

Then POOF! ... She was gone!

After Tom recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, "Fred, where are you?"

Fred yells back, "I'm over here in the pussy willows."

Tom shouts back, 'DON'T SWING Fred; FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING!!!'

Hunting
Dave and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming bird hunting trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Dave headed home frustrated.

That weekend, when all Dave's buddies arrived up at the cabin to hunt, they were completely shocked to see Dave. He was already sitting in a lawn chair hav'n a cold beer, orange vest on, shotgun in the truck, and his dog run'n around.

"How did you talk your missus into letting you go Dave?"

"Believe it or not, I didn't have to," Dave replied.

"Thursday night, when I left our meeting, I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then the ol'lady snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise'."

"When I peeled her hands back she was standing there in a beautiful new see through negligee and she said, 'Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed, and you can do whatever you want'......SO, HERE I AM!"

whatever.....

2009-07-27T18:59:00.001-07:00

There's no "I" in 'team', but there is in 'idiot'.

If at first you don't succeed - you must suck, because it ain't that hard to do.

You can't teach an old dog new tricks, so get rid of it and start over with a new one.

I like going into home-improvement type stores and asking the female clerk to show me her 'knockers'.

Technically, shouldn't it be called a "suck job"?

Saw "Burn Without Reading" the other night. It was actually quite enjoyable.I think I'm hooked on Big Brother again. Haven't watched it for a couple rounds now but this edition seems pretty good.

Tokk Facebook's "If you were in a fantasy land, what would you look like?" quiz today. My result? "Fairy". lol!

I'm pretty sure I need a trip to the coast for a few days.

Off to do a major clean on my place, see ya later.

:)

email from dad

2009-07-27T18:37:00.000-07:00

Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?'
'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him.
'All the food was slow.'

'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?'
'It was a place called 'at home,'' I explained. !
'Mum cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.
But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis , set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card.
My parents never drove me to school. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow).
We didn't have a television in our house until I was 19.
It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. and there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.

I never had a telephone in my room.The only phone was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.
Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.
All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers --my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. He had to get up at 6AM every morning.
Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.
Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?
MEMORIES from a friend :
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it.. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.
How many do you remember?
Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.

Older Than Dirt Quiz :
Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about.
Ratings at the bottom.

1.Candy cigarettes
2.Coffee shops with tableside juke boxes
3.Home milk delivery in glass bottles
4. Party lines on the telephone
5.Newsreels before the movie
6.TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels [if you were fortunate])
7.Peashooters
8. Howdy Doody
9. 45 RPM records
10.Hi-fi's
11. Metal ice trays with lever
12. Blue flashbulb
13.Cork popguns
14. Studebakers
15. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-3 = You're still young
If you remembered 3-6 = You are getting older
If you remembered 7-10 = Don't tell your age,
If you remembered 11-15 =You're older than dirt!

I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best parts of my life.

more funny junk mail

2009-07-25T11:28:00.000-07:00

Apparently someone really wants to be friends with me....

Ave, my friend!

If you like someone, tell him, because you might found out that they like you too... If you will not tell about your love you can loose your beloved person in the same reason. I make the first step for to find you and I hope you'll make everything to save our future happy! I believe in love and in happy life only with the beloved person. I would love to meet someone who is calm, simple, intelligent, loving, sensual, active, in other words the perfect man! But... let's get real. I am looking to meet an interesting man to share great moments and, if it clicks, maybe more.I like cinema, painting, literature, arts, bicycling, sensuality, walking, traveling and nice romantic dinners. I am respectful, open minded, educated, at times funny, and loving! I can also cook but hate washing the dishes! But do you think it's a problem?

Sincerely yourth
Veroni

thoughts for the day....

2009-07-25T11:24:00.000-07:00

Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

Brain cells come, and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

Life is like a roll of toilet paper.
The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

funny junk email

2009-07-24T16:00:00.000-07:00

I received an email the other day informing me as to why I had not yet received my inheritance. I knew it was gonna be a good one because it was sent by Jack Bauer. At least now I know what he does in between bouts of saving the world from terrorists! Here is the email in it's entirety, with my comments in italics

This is to officially inform you that we have verified your contract
inheritance file and found out that why you have not received your
payment is because you have not fulfilled the obligations given to you in respect of your contract/inheritance payment.(that, and I don't actually have a payment coming)

Secondly we have been informed that you are still dealing with the
none officials in the bank all your attempt to secure the release of
the fund to you.(funny, that LOOKS like English) We wish to advise you that such an illegal act like this have to stop if you wishes to receive your payment since we have decided to bring a solution to your problem.(what?) Right now we have arranged your payment through our swift card payment center Asia pacific, that is the latest instruction from Mr. President, Chief BONI YANY (GCFR) federal republic of BENIN.(I googled Benin, it's near Nigeria. I'm sure none of those nice Nigerian people would try to scam me)

This card center will send you an ATM card which you will use to
withdraw your money in any ATM machine in any part of the world,
so if you like to receive your fund in this way, please let us
know by contacting the ATM payment department and also send the
following information as listed below.

Your full name_________________________
Your address__________________________
Your country___________________________
Your age______________________________
Your occupation________________________
Your Phone number______________________
Address were you want them to send the ATM card to
(p.o box not acceptable)
Attach copy of your identification (yeah, riiiight)

We have been instructed to issue out $950,000.00 as part payment for
this fiscal year 2009. Also for your information, you have to stop anyfurther communication with any other person(s) or office(s) to avoid any hitches in receiving your payment.Waiting for your expedite response.(guess what my "expedite response" was. THe words 'fuck you' sound familiar.)

YOURS SINCERELY

Mr Jack Bauer

assorted things.

2009-07-20T18:43:00.000-07:00

Click here,waaayyy too funny.

According to Facebook, the hidden meaning of my name is :
Very much the individual you have enormous energy and vision and must find a suitable use for your talents. You have great potential for success in business if you can guard against indecision and worry. Your generous nature means that you are never short of friends and with cooperation your relationships can be very rewarding. Perseverance and firm decision making will ensure you achieve your objectives.

They left out the part about being a sex god. :(

My Lions FINALLY won a game last thursday. I was getting worried there, starting off 0-2. And a convincing win it was : 40-23. Back on track!

jokes and such things.

2009-07-17T13:02:00.000-07:00

World's Shortest Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said, 'NO!' And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The end

A Powerful Message from Stevie Wonder on Michael Jackson’s Death…
....... .. … … .. …..
.. . . … . . . . . .. . .. …. .. .. . … ..
... ... .. ... ... ... ... .... ...... ... ... ... .... ..... .. .
.. . . … .. . . . ..
... . .... ... .... .... ...
...... .... .... .... ..... ..... ..... .. . . .... ....
. .. .
. . .. . .. . ...
....... ... ... ... .. ... ....... ... .. .... ... ... .... ....
. .. .. .
.. ....
.. . . . . . .. .. … ..
.. .... .. ... ... ....... ...... .....

Deep stuff eh? I nearly cried when he said “. .. . . . .. .. … .. .. . . .... ....”

Big Brother is back for another round. Early impressions : Russell is a jack-ass. Ronnie is sneakier and more coniving than most people would think. Chima is almost as bad as Russell. Enjoying so far.

According to Facebook I am 85% crazy. As I said there : I prefer to look at it as 15% sane.

Time to go check the mail, have a great weekend everyone!

stuff

2009-07-15T18:35:00.000-07:00

saw a commercial with tony danza, made me think that it's a shame his talk show was cancaelled. it was good.

Watched Big Brother last night - Russell and Chima are both way too arrogant to last. And : What was up with the "pimple-tile" challenge? why did so many grab tiles that only fit the word they wanted to spell? Didn't anyone realize that the more tiles you had meant the opponents had less tiles to choose from?

Watched "Goodfellas" last night. Still a classic movie but any scene where all the mobsters are sitting around laughing seemed rather forced, not good acting.

I wish U2 would title one of their albums "screw" or "fuck" so that the album title would read as "Screw-U2" or "Fuck-U2" ....just wishing....